Sue Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan and her mom are being sued by a freelance photographer who claims Lindsay hit him with her mom's car back in March. The photographer is claiming he "sustained severe and permanent personal injuries" including injuries to both knees for which he was "still getting medical treatment." The photographer's lawyer says he's seeking unspecified monetary damages "for his pain and suffering and his lost wages."

If you remember the incident, Lindsay sort of bumps him with her car and then he drops to the ground and starts flailing around. Now I'm not calling him a liar, but he's lying. And he's a liar. I want Lindsay to go down as much as everybody else, but not for this. If anything, the guy should be thanking her for giving him a car massage.

Paris Hilton: Off the Hook

Paris Hilton's jail sentence has been cut in half from 45 days to 23 due to "good behavior." Additionally, they'll be giving her her own special needs housing unit separated from the other prisoners.

"This was decided because of her high profile," Whitmore told Reuters. "She will do fine if she follows the rules."

I'm not going to argue with the special needs housing unit, because, well, that sounds about right, but what is this good behavior they're talking about? The only thing she's done so far is show up late to her court hearing. Oh, she didn't murder anybody? That's another 23 days off. At this rate they'll end up sending her on a Hawaii vacation and apologizing.

BRUCE WILLIS NEW CATCH

52-year-old Bruce Willis is reportedly dating 23-year-old Playmate Tamara Witmer, who's only five years older than his daughter Rumer. Tamara says:

"He's got the sexiest voice!" she says. "He's so smooth and suave. I don't mind the bald head. He's really good looking in person."

BRITNEY SPEARS ANGRY WITH MUM

Britney Spears is allegedly so mad at her mom for urging her into rehab she's cut off all communication with her and even refused to visit her in the hospital on Mother's Day.

“Britney has cut off all communication with her mom,” a “friend” of the 25-year-old singer told the National Enquirer. “She’s gone from calling Lynne ten times a day to flat-out refusing to speak to her.” Lynne, 52, was hospitalized in southern California recently when a bout of the flu turned into pneumonia. The Star is reporting a similar story. “Britney says her mom betrayed her and she refuses to get over it,” the source told the Enquirer. “When she was told to give her mom a call, Britney said: ‘I’m busy, I have my own kids now.’ ”

Britney Spears has always had really good judgement and makes great decisions, so I'm sure this was for the best. As was me finding that giant treasure chest full of gold. At first I wasn't so sure, but then I bought myself a space shuttle and decided , hey, maybe having a giant treasure chest full of gold isn't so bad.